A tale of epic tedium
Fresh from the experience, I wouldn’t say Asphalt Watches is the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s high among the least enjoyable. It doesn’t lack technical skill. It has a sort of structure, which comes from its subject, hitch hiking across Canada and the epic tedium that entails. To caricature the weirdos encountered en route is not a bad idea. Nor is making a cartoon of them; Hunter S. Thompson and Ralph Steadman did that back in the 1970s. But Thompson and Steadman worked in print. Asphalt Watches tries to do something similar on the screen, for ninety teeth-grinding minutes. The style of the cartooning is tiring to watch and the lack of any real beginning or end or narrative development left me disengaged and worse than bored. It gave me a throbbing headache. I saw one person walk out, and only courtesy for the friend who’d invited us stopped me from doing the same. Highly not recommended.